Sometimes speaking from experience helps other guys out there to overcome their own battles in life. This is going to be one such conversation. And when I think about it, I’m actually quite pleased about it. Some of the things I may say relate to personal matters that I’ve given a lot of thought to. When you’re probing your conscience for some concrete answers to some of the troubles and challenges in your life, the answers don’t always come to you straight away. But when they do, it’s like a breath of fresh air. Thinking on today’s struggles of becoming an alpha male in modern times, I was able to let off some relieving steam.

No, I did not duck into the sauna, but let me tell you; that helps too sometimes. Apart from enjoying a hearty meal and working out in the gym, I think it’s fair to say, one of the best ways for me to let off steam is to take myself out for a gentle but brisk walk. I’m not moving along at a hot pace so I’ve got all the time in the world to focus more on whatever is troubling me. Not just that, I seem to get a lot of my inspirational ideas for work by simply taking myself out on that walk. I’m feeling a little excited right about now because, guess what, I’m due for that walk.

And let me just say again; I’m really looking forward to it. The only thing preoccupying my mind right at this moment is whether that walk is going to take place before or after this post is published on the internet. If it is published before my walk, well, that would be a nice thought then. The thought is that while I’m out on my jaunt somewhere out in the wide world, a few good men like yourselves are reading my post. What an encouraging thought. That’s a positive thought too. I have no doubts and I honestly believe that I have my readers today, tonight or tomorrow morning.


As it turns out, I went for my walk before I finished this post. Good that I did, because it certainly helped. It was my downfall before. I was always lacking in confidence, even during a stage of my life when I was already achieving worthwhile things for myself. Like getting my degree or winning my first track race. Or starting up my own company. Always believe in yourself. And when you do, you’ll always have the confidence to complete your day’s necessary tasks.

Be honest

I speak from personal experience. Not only did my dishonesty come back to bite me, it also troubled my conscience. I feared offending others and I was ashamed of my own shortcomings and weaknesses. But it’s human to be weak sometimes. The thing about being honest to yourself and towards others is that you end up being much stronger for it.

But think before you speak

When I was not healthy and in control of my life, I tended to get too excited about some of my passions in life. And when that happened, I ended up saying the wrong thing without much thought of the next guy or whether my words could have offended him or not. More than often, it did, with or without consequences. I made a remark to a guy’s girlfriend. Unintentionally, it turned out to be a suggestive remark. No matter what our cultural or intellectual differences, there’s simply no excuse for it. Always think before you speak and you’ll never have to pay later. Believe me, I did.

The cold shoulder

Previously, in my unhealthy state of mind, I tended to withdraw from people. That’s unhealthy. I also bore grudges. That’s unhealthy too. I’m naturally introverted but when you’re open to the next man, even if you’re just being polite, you’re open to the world. He’ll reciprocate in kind. Open to the world, you’re also open for business. Communicate. Let others know that you’re still around. And let them know that you care too.

Turning the other cheek

This thing about offending another man and his girlfriend, boy did it hurt. This event could have been even more dangerous than it turned out led me to a revelation about the man. Without judging him, respecting him in spite of everything, I decided that this guy was no alpha male. To make his message to me sink in, he decided to use his fists. Physically, he’s strong and powerful. No matter what the circumstances, the differences or the event, no alpha man uses his fists on another.

Sticks and stones

Albert Einstein prophesied that the fourth World War would be fought with sticks and stones. He was a peace lover and peace maker himself. It’s a religious expression, I know, but warrior or peace maker, history’s greatest prophets, religious, spiritual or secular, all believed in the power of the word. The old English saying goes like this.

The pen is mightier than the sword.

To close off, let me just say that I know how hard it can be to lead by example and to practice what you believe. But to use Churchill’s exact words let me just say to you to –

Never, ever, ever give up.

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